Logic Class - Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.  "What's logic?" asked Bubba. The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"  "I sure do." answered the redneck. "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard." replied the professor. "That's real good." the redneck responded in awe.  The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."  Impressed, the redneck shouted, "GAWL-LEEE!!"  "And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife." "Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)  "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual, rather than homosexual" said the professor.  "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of.  I can't wait to take this here logic class."  Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin?"  he asks.  "Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.  "What in tarnation is logic?"  "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"  "No."...  "You're a queer, ain't ya?"

Boudreaux once had a job as a taxicab driver in Baton Rouge. One day he picked up a Texan on his way to the airport. When they passed by the LSU football stadium the Texan asked, "What's that partner?"

"Mais dat's Tiger Stadium," answered Boudreaux. "Dey call it Deat Valley cuz a lota teems usta git killed in dere." "How long did it take yall to build it?" drawled the Texan. "Uuuuuuh, bot five year, ah guess," responded Boudreaux.  "We've got a bigger one in Austin that only took one year," bragged the Texan.

As they passed the state capitol, the Texan again inquired, "What's that building?" "Dat's da state captol," answered Boudreaux. "Dey probly got mo crook in dere den dey got in da state pen." "And how long did it take yall to build that?" asked the Texan. "Bot tree year," retorted Boudreaux. "We've got one in Austin that only took six months," said the Texan
with a smirk.

At this point Boudreaux just about had enough. As they drove past the Mississippi river Bridge, the Texan once again asked, "How long did it take yall to build that bridge?"
"Ah don't kno faw sho, but ah kin tellya dis. It wudn't dere dis mornin' wen ah passed!" replied Boudreaux. Thanks to James Allen

One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to a job interview, da boss came out of this office and gave them a test.  Well, it took about two hours to finish the test.  The boss picked them up and graded them.  When he finished, he came back out of his office and said, "Ya'll both did very well and passed the test.   In fact ya'll scored the same grade."  Then he told Boudreaux he got the job. All of a sudden Thibodeaux jumped up and said, "Well wait, if we both scored the same grade, then why does Boudreaux get the job?"  Then the boss said, "Well because of your answers, for example, on number 25, Boudreaux wrote, "I don't know," and you wrote, "me either."  Clark Havard

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name.  Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.  "Yes," he replied.  "When did you graduate?" I asked.  He answered, "In 1958."  "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"